"Driving In New Orleans" or "DodgeCar" (Part 1 of 2)

You're driving along an 8-lane boulevard with a median at the posted 35mph speed limit when suddenly a man jaywalks across the street to the bus stop (there is no bus in sight).  He crosses two lanes with breathtaking speed...then slows and walks the last two, forcing you to brake below the speed limit.

The Mercedes behind you has its fog lamps on...on the clearest night of the year.  Conversely, the next night, The brand-new Audi driving toward you in the dense fog has no fog lamps on but instead the high beams have been activated.  Better yet, the Honda Accord sedan to your right has its fog lamps on but one is burned out...probably from being left on all the time.

The guy who lives across the street from you is forever leaving his master fog lamp switch on in his Land Rover, unaware that it also has REAR lamps that blind anyone unfortunate enough to be stuck behind him in traffic.  His wife tends to be equally dense, forgetting to hit the button in her Mercedes Benz GL500 to fold the side mirrors back out and never realizing it until you mention it.

Driving home one night you are cut off by a 1985 Oldsmobile with a temporary tag and no functional rear lights other than the high mount brake light on which your eyes now bore a hole lest you miss it and careen into the rear of the driver's latest in a long line of bad life choices.

USAToday.com recently featured an article (Worst Drivers By State) detailing a survey undertaken by CarInsuranceComparison.com that found the State of Louisiana had the worst drivers by compiling a large database of various applicable statistics such as citations by type, accident reports, and fatality rates.  

This may be shocking to drivers in states like New Jersey and New York but it is not uncommon for drivers in Louisiana to hold up two lanes of 45mph traffic to illegallly cross four lanes and a solid white to get to a u-turn. Rather than go an extra block. Stop signs?  Merely suggestions.  Yield sign? A vague construct abstracted from an idea once postulated by a man and his dog whilst waiting for the Streetcar...in the late sixties.  Designated, striped bicycle lanes?  Cab stands and passing shoulders of course!  Stop lights?  Well if you can't see anybody coming...

Add to that lackluster maintenance of traffic infrastructure (signals, crosswalk lights, etc), the New Orleans Police Department's underfunded, confused and apathetic traffic division and a population with a borderline SUV fetish (and a confirmed ridiculously-huge-wheel fetish) who generally only have a turn signal on because they "bought the car that way" and you have a recipe for disaster for drivers of anything smaller than a minivan.  

Mamoru Hosoda's "Wolf Children"

So I just watched Mamoru Hosoda's "Wolf Children" and I was struck by two things. Firstly, how incredibly beautiful a movie it is. I mean really, in all aspects. I'm a very emotional person so it's easy for a movie to provoke strong emotions like anger or sadness but this film in particular triggered a lot of emotions that I don't really even have names for. It seemed I was always trembling on the edge of something but never quite toppling down into it: an eloquent waltz of emotional balance.

Secondly, now this is kind of sad. I know people personally, grown men and women, who would have taken one look at the preview, specifically the part where Ookami reveals his half-wolf form to Hana, and said "Oh that's weird, you like watching stuff like this?" and then given me a funny look and laughed uncomfortably, as if I were suddenly strange in their eyes and they needed to cover the awkward moment somehow. How sad that people can get hung up on silly insecurities like that when there's such a wonderful, thought-inspiring story being told...

I was always taught as a child "You'll hurt yourself jumping to conclusions" and only recently have I really come to know what that truly means. When we judge people or things without truly knowing them first, we perform an injustice to that person or to the people who made that thing. I remember, as a teenager, offering to lend my copy of Jim Carrey's "The Majestic" to an adult friend who refused simply because he was in it and because she didn't like his earlier work. I was confused, being younger, and puzzled. After all...I'd watched the movie. I knew it was NOTHING like his crazy comedy films and I wanted to share that with her because I knew that she would like it. But she wouldn't watch it. Not because of a bad review, but because she had judged Carrey's whole worth as an actor by a few silly films he had made earlier in his career, never giving him a chance to show he could do anything else.

TS

"Now Say Hello Taylor" or "The Story So Far"

Hello Taylor...

No but seriously, hi.  So I introduced you to 'Phira yesterday and today I thought I would post a bit about myself.

My name's Taylor.  26 years old, a bit of a geek/nerd (I can never keep those two straight) and deathly afraid of technology.  Well okay, so I'm not really deathly afraid of it.  I don't go to sleep at night worried that the stack of burnt-out laptops in my closet is somehow going to combine with the '88 Macintosh sitting next to it and then somehow assimilate the Betamax on the shelf below it before it bursts through the wall into my bedroom to seek revenge...

But I do think there are places that companies are putting tech where it doesn't need to be just yet.  A friend recently regaled me with the tale of his friend who, after buying a new Jaguar, started it one morning to find that the little motorized gear selector had frozen halfway up.  He couldn't shift the car into gear so he called the dealer who sent a flatbed.  The flatbed operator asked him to put it in neutral...need I go on?  'Phira's relays click pretty loud when it gets cold out but I'm comforted by the knowledge that they're easily replaceable should they go the way of the Confederacy.

Anyway...back to me, heheh.

I'm a BA major at the University of New Orleans a.k.a. "The High School By The Lake" (which isn't as funny anymore since they built an actual high school right next door) and at the moment I wait tables in the New Orleans French Quarter...a taxing occupation to say the least.  I enjoy the outdoors just as much as I love playing homebody, curling up in front of a (currently nonexistent) fire or going full veg-mode and watching Hulu+ or Netflix all day.

I also enjoy taking pictures of people doing asinine things with their cars/trucks/motorcycles/family members. Like this gem of a parking job at the Office Depot in Bucktown the other day.

I'm a tinkerer.  There's no getting around that.  If I have the tools and time to take it apart and if not getting it back together right away won't impact my life too severely you can bet it'll be in pieces by lunchtime.  I have electrocuted myself because of this tendency...twice.  Once on the capacitor inside an old Sony television and once when i was tinkering with the aforementioned Betamax (also a Sony product...coincidence?  I...think...NOT!  DUN...dun...DUUUUUNNN)

Most of my tinkering at the moment comes in the form of maintenance on 'Phira.  She's getting up there and a lot of stuff needs replacing, some of which I just have neither the time or wherewithal to do myself.

The Story So Far

To start with I should probably explain how a "good ole Southern boy" whose first car was a pickup truck and whose second was a heavily-modified import ended up with a Miata (we'll get into the idiotic stereotypes and jokes later).  This picture pretty much explains it all.

Yup, you guessed it.  That's me.  In the early 90s.  With my aunt (or "She who would be my mother").  In her 1990 1.6 B-Package Miata.  I practically grew up in that car.  That and a Volvo 740 Turbo wagon that my mom owned until they traded it for a *gag* Suburban.  If you still need an explanation, I never really liked the pickup truck all that much.  I did learn how to drive a stick in it though which is why the 2006 Civic sedan that replaced it was ordered with a 5MT.  The Civic was responsible for getting me into the tuning scene and precision driving.  Even though it had the lowly "i-VTEC" R18A1 I could still give the typical non-enthusiast driver in a K20Z3 Si a run for their money just on the shifter mods I'd added alone.

So here's what happens next...

Well I get a bit tired of the FWD on Gracie and decide it's time I stop plowing my way around the city and learn about oversteer.  So I start shopping around and manage to coordinate the sale of the Civic (after I part her out of course) with the purchase of a 1997 Miata STO from Hyundai of Slidell (more on that in a minute).

As she comes to me, 'Phira is in good shape except for one glaring omission by the dealership:  whenever it rains the trunk turns into a swimming pool thanks to a cracked rain rail.  They explained (lied) that the damp trunk when I picked up the car was from a tech leaving it open during an overnight deluge.  Chalk one up for experience: always bring a gallon of water when buying a convertible to check for leaks.  Once I figure it out I come up with the best solution short of replacing the top:  lots of towels crammed under the carpet by the rain rail and a California PopTop to shed as much water as possible.

I quickly set about familiarizing myself with her innards.  I perform a reasonably successful attempt at a timing belt service...

 Replace her aged Wagner sealed beams with Sylvania Silverstar sealed beams...

...and I quickly learn that not only do they do no better a job than what they replaced, but the higher wattage bulbs burn out after 3 months due to the weak factory wiring's inability to supply sufficient oomph and therefore I replace THEM with a pair of French-sourced, European-spec Valeo Cibies...

...which are vastly superior, use inexpensive replaceable H4 bulbs, and look like old Porsche headlights apparently.  I'll come back to this bit another day for a more in-depth treatise on the woes of the American Government's approach to vehicle regulations.  For now just a few bullet points on the Cibies (pronounced "seebeeyays".  Think "French accent").  They have stamped and polished metal reflectors instead of molded glass like DOT sealies, higher-quality optic glass lenses, offer the option of a 4watt "City Light", are available in almost all standard sizes (the small 165x100mm rectangles are no longer made by Valeo but comparable units from Bosch are available) and just plain make the car look...better.  I guess because of the almost artistic Fresnel lens design compared to the ugly block-and-groove DOT lenses.


I decide to tackle the stereo next.  I don't have the coin for speakers AND a new head unit so I replace the speakers.  I get the parts from Clearwater and, let me just say, they sound GREAT!  The STO, like most of the "Special" and "Limited" Edition Gen1 Miatas has a unique sound system.  A pair of 1-way door speakers provides the oomph and then in each headrest are a pair of smaller speakers wired in stereo (each seat has a "left" and "right" speaker).  You can see the OEM headrest units in the picture below.

Unfortunately, though I'm not sure if it's a common problem, the door speakers have both suffered cracked tweeter mounts by now, resulting in an incessant buzzing when the Bass drives deep.  My guess is that it is due to the harsh door closure but I disconnect and remove them for sanity's sake.



Around this time I start working at NOLA Motorsports Park in Avondale, LA (just outside of New Orleans).  I don't have as much time to tinker so most of my projects are relatively small, like painting the yellowed Mazda centercaps and discovering, to my amusement, just how small a Miata really is.

We meet some of 'Phira's relatives in the parking lot at UNO...including a friend of the family from Germany.

I order new "OEM-type" replacement shocks just to stave off vertebral compression.  Also a full set of I.L. Motorsport suspension bushings as well.

For Christmas last year I only get one car-related item, which is a set of truly cool racing pedals from Flyin' Miata who designed these to go on their track cars.  Note the extension of the accelerator for better heel-toe.

I'm kind of digging the "Harvard student who just popped down to the city for the weekend in his MG" vibe I have going so I buy an oiled leather satchel off of Etsy.

And I discover that January is NOT the right time to try shaving your head if you've never done it before and drive a convertible.

I go all out for Easter.  That's 100% linen baby, yeah.  And orange suede shoes.
(no I do not look like a pimp.  a pimp looks completely different)

And I feel much better after realizing that the cable company can't even get their own set-top boxes to work.

I get tired of looking at the ugly old Airbag warning stickers on the Miata's oft-removed sun visors...so I cut out the decals (and left the visors installed) and at the same time, I bolt on 'Phira's new custom plate.  People immediately start calling her "Sapphire" and my manager tries to write me up for ignoring emails he incorrectly sends to another employee simply because her email address has the word "sapphire" in it.  I weep for the education of future generations.

With hurricane season fast approaching, I finally...FINALLY replace Saphira's top with a top-of-the-line cloth Gen2-style top with a glass window, defroster and headliner.  The zippered window is finally banished from the car and my neck and shoulder sing their gratitudes.

Due to budgetary constraints however, the defroster isn't hooked up yet since the parts needed are expensive, especially if I plan on using the ultra-rare OEM Defroster/Foglight combo switch.

Around this time, I receive two big boxes of fun from the guys out at Flyin' Miata.  Yes, I pay for them.  

Contained within are a pair of new blueprinted front hubs, a full set of new slotted brake rotors, braided stainless flexlines, some Ate Type200 DOT4 brake fluid, a new lightened flywheel, a new clutch to go with it plus brand-new pilot and throwout bearings.  There are a few more odds and ends but that about sums it up.











The brakes are done shortly thereafter, including a new rear caliper after its seal blows fluid everywhere while bedding the rotors.  Dramatic Before and After shots are below.

After replacing the convertible top I also place an order for a rollbar with slight modifications to the double diagonals to fit the glass window top.  This is supposed to take 2-3 months but they have a few already made and on the shelf so they drop-ship one to me within two weeks.  It's still sitting in my living room wrapped in foam sheet along with the SFI foam padding and leather wrap waiting to be installed.

I have a blast during Halloween '13 and actually go to one of those huge parties they have.  So much fun!  (If you can work out which party this is you win an interweb.  If you figure it out and you don't like it you lose two.  So that's an overall loss of 1 interweb from your original count)

I go by Paretti Mazda to look at the gorgeous new Mazda6 and look what they have on the showroom floor:

An original 1980 MG-B with less than 80 original miles on the odometer/milometer.  The dealership had been the area carrier back in the 70s and 80s for MG and this was a display model that was put away in one of the storage sheds out back and forgotten about.  I wouldn't want to try and put that top down though.

So!  That about catches you up to where we are now!  I'm going into finals week so don't count on too many updates until this weekend but once its done with I'm sure I'll be a right old Chatty Kathy.  Until then, enjoy this lovely photo of 'Phira parked under a tree.

Say Hello Gracie

Is what this post would have been called were Gracie, my modified 2006 Honda Civic, still mine.  Alas she is not (but I wanted to make the Burns and Allen reference anyway), we having parted ways several years ago when I parted her out and traded her for a rough but mechanically-sound Miata.  Enter Saphira, or "'Phira" for short.

'Phira is a 1997 Mazda Miata STO Edition.  What "STO" actually stands for is a moderately-debated topic, with one side claiming "Still The One" and the other "Special Touring Option".  Regardless, she's a numbered edition wearing dash plaque #596, and also currently being a bit of an old bag.

She's my main mode of conveyance at the moment but she's doing her best MGB impression, with little glitches popping up here and there.  Her most recent little surprise is a glitchy temperature sensor (or a stuck thermostat).  

So I'll be posting her life and times moments here for the world to see along with plenty of photos and videos as I restore this modern classic.  Stay tuned!  (Heheh "tuned")

TS