"Driving In New Orleans" or "DodgeCar" (Part 1 of 2)

You're driving along an 8-lane boulevard with a median at the posted 35mph speed limit when suddenly a man jaywalks across the street to the bus stop (there is no bus in sight).  He crosses two lanes with breathtaking speed...then slows and walks the last two, forcing you to brake below the speed limit.

The Mercedes behind you has its fog lamps on...on the clearest night of the year.  Conversely, the next night, The brand-new Audi driving toward you in the dense fog has no fog lamps on but instead the high beams have been activated.  Better yet, the Honda Accord sedan to your right has its fog lamps on but one is burned out...probably from being left on all the time.

The guy who lives across the street from you is forever leaving his master fog lamp switch on in his Land Rover, unaware that it also has REAR lamps that blind anyone unfortunate enough to be stuck behind him in traffic.  His wife tends to be equally dense, forgetting to hit the button in her Mercedes Benz GL500 to fold the side mirrors back out and never realizing it until you mention it.

Driving home one night you are cut off by a 1985 Oldsmobile with a temporary tag and no functional rear lights other than the high mount brake light on which your eyes now bore a hole lest you miss it and careen into the rear of the driver's latest in a long line of bad life choices.

USAToday.com recently featured an article (Worst Drivers By State) detailing a survey undertaken by CarInsuranceComparison.com that found the State of Louisiana had the worst drivers by compiling a large database of various applicable statistics such as citations by type, accident reports, and fatality rates.  

This may be shocking to drivers in states like New Jersey and New York but it is not uncommon for drivers in Louisiana to hold up two lanes of 45mph traffic to illegallly cross four lanes and a solid white to get to a u-turn. Rather than go an extra block. Stop signs?  Merely suggestions.  Yield sign? A vague construct abstracted from an idea once postulated by a man and his dog whilst waiting for the Streetcar...in the late sixties.  Designated, striped bicycle lanes?  Cab stands and passing shoulders of course!  Stop lights?  Well if you can't see anybody coming...

Add to that lackluster maintenance of traffic infrastructure (signals, crosswalk lights, etc), the New Orleans Police Department's underfunded, confused and apathetic traffic division and a population with a borderline SUV fetish (and a confirmed ridiculously-huge-wheel fetish) who generally only have a turn signal on because they "bought the car that way" and you have a recipe for disaster for drivers of anything smaller than a minivan.